I think it would be not-untimely chicken-counting if I were to mention that there are now four different people who would like to cover me in gunge.

Things are going way, way better than I was expecting.

And… now I’ve converted one of the kink meet people to Wet-and-Messy, purely via the medium of explaining what it is.

Told you they’ve got taste round here!

Oh, now, that is not fair. It was dry when I set out…

Seventeen Minutes



Five ways Arnold Rimmer wasted seventeen minutes. 5 x 200 words.

Words: 1001, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

jargonelle from AO3 works tagged ‘Red Dwarf’ http://ift.tt/VwbE7P

You wait all year for a ficlet where Rimmer gets covered in liquid waste, and then two come along in quick succession…

Pet topics aside, this is an excellent little set of drabbles. Or double drabbles. Or whatever you want to call fics that are very short but not exactly 100 words.

Anonymous said: What's the weirdest perverted dream you've had?

D’you know, there are none that stick in my mind as particularly weird. I’m not sure I have them all that often. And when I do, I certainly don’t feel so horrified and embarrassed by them that I, oh, I don’t know, subconsciously latch on to them and end up having them as recurring dreams.

I’ll give you the one that spurred me on to finish drafting Botanical Gardens: The Boyz from the Dwarf are at some kind of crazy hedonistic party (the kind that Queen would have thrown in the 80s). The less interesting three of them round a corner to find that Rimmer has ended up in nothing but his boxers, face-down in a mud pit, having been gently and not-so-gently seduced (and pushed, and pulled, and trampled) into this position by a trio of deceptively innocent-seeming temptresses.

I guess it was pretty weird, as my perverted dreams go, in that he seemed not to mind this state of affairs at all.

Hmm. My body clearly enjoyed something that happened at last night’s play party. I just don’t know what it was.

Oh yeah, I totally forgot to mention it, but when I went to that play party the other week, I chatted with someone who’d read some of my fics, and they gave me the nicest compliments about them, especially the characterisation (“they’re like episodes of the show, only ones where the characters are kinky!”). <3

And they particularly liked my Arnold/Arlene two-parter, which is gratifying, because I’m really proud of that one, and I tied my brain in knots trying to get the gender stereotype fuckery to work. :D

Anonymous said: Muahahahah hahaha haha ha. *waves an apple at you*


I never thought I’d have to add apples to my list of Pavlovian triggers. >.<

I thought of you the other day when I bought a set of braces. This’ll amuse you - on the back of the box was the sentence, ‘The metal clips are for attachment to the trouser waistband only’.
someone who could not possibly have known how apt it was to think of me in that context.
"Reality, it struck Rimmer, was a place where bad things could happen. And bad, vile, unspeakable things had happened to him on an almost daily basis the entire period he'd spent there."

Oh, yes. Some of that my way, please.

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