Oh, tish and pshaw, there’s another kink meet tonight and I’d entirely failed to realise, and I’m in no state to go to it now.

I’ve tracked down, like, two whole femdoms in my intermittent stalking of the regulars, and I’m astonished at how much those tiny crumbs of possibility are making me salivate. WANT TO MEET o.O

I seem to be much more at peace with bad things happening to me when I feel as though they’re all my own stupid fault, rather than just being a symptom of the fundamental unjustness of the universe.

Perhaps this is why I’m a sub.

I think it’s interesting how kink vocabulary gets translated over into AO3 tags. I mean… kinky people have spent a hella long time forming themselves into communities, hashing out their own subculture, and coming to consensus over what to call [x], or what [y] means, or what’s REALLY [z] and what’s not.

Then, in large part (not saying it’s everyone, but in large part), what you get on AO3 is people who’ve never really explored these communities and been trained into using these precise definitions, but they’re writing whatever turns them on - instinctively, “innately”, without necessarily any knowledge of whether it’s “a thing” or not, or whether there’s a script for how to do it.

What happens then is you get intriguing tag choices, like people using “desperation” to refer to characters getting uncontrollably aroused, when the community definition of “desperation kink” relates to desperation to pee. Or weird things popping up tagged as “wet and messy” (yes, I check there frequently, obviously I do) when they don’t really bear much relation to “[Capital] Wet and Messy”, so to speak.

I mean, I think it’s good. I think that having a community that can help you safely find your way round your “innate” kinks is good, and I think just going freeform and writing “uninformed”, uninhibited wish-fulfilment is good. And I’m currently attempting to navigate doing both, so I’m particularly interested in how/whether the things I write about would translate over into play, or how my knowledge of “mainstream” play informs my writing (e.g. becoming particularly wary of writing scenes that would be dangerous or unhealthy IRL without adding disclaimers).

(ETA: I’m also interested to see whether the way people are using these items of terminology in tags might turn out to be more broadly useful than the way they’ve been defined within the subculture. Because, y’know, AO3 tags as an example of the hive-mind freeforming its way towards consensus, and terminology evolving organically, and just generally being fascinating as a social phenomenon, etc.)

That’s just the impression I’ve vaguely formed, so I hope I haven’t made any incorrect assumptions or mischaracterisations, and I’m willing to be corrected. That kind of not-quite-overlap does reflect my own “journey” quite neatly, though.

Incidentally, that has been the basic thrust of pretty much every “erotic dream” I’ve ever had. Small wonder I was such a poor, confused little soul between puberty and… well, pretty much now.

Small wonder also that I had such difficulties recognising that I do actually have a “sex drive”, and a reasonably high one at that. And I still feel silly using words like “erotic” or “sexual” to describe the things that turn me on, when they have nothing to do wtih sex. And I still feel apologetic e.g. posting completely non-sexual (but fiercely arousing) prompts to kink memes.

The wet-&-messy-fetishist community at large seems, on the whole, to be hugely light-hearted, fun-loving, unashamed and un-introspective in their enjoyment of their kink. Seriously, how the everloving fuck do they do it?!

lyra-somnium said: Soo… maybe spill the details? c:

Oh, blimey, you as well. I didn’t even see that. All right, I’m very grateful that both my anons and my not-anons can be relied upon to take the bait and force me to humiliate myself.

Anonymous asked: Go on then, spill the beans? (pun not originally intended despite any debatable messy food-related connotations of that phrase)

HA. XD To the best of my recollection, I was at the beach with a bunch of friends (possibly friends I imagined rather than real life ones), and we were horsing around, and I got somewhat forcibly covered in wet sand.

There was possibly also an unrelated scene later on where someone got a cake in the face, but I couldn’t swear to it.

There you go, then, that’s the thrillingly non-sexual life my subconscious leads. Oh, and by the way, beans would totally work. ;) Charity telethons were always a source of awkwardness, growing up.

I definitely had what could be classed as a “wet dream” last night. There was no sex in it whatsoever.

The fucking tiresome part is that I woke up from it feeling really good, and now the way the day is going has put a massive dampener on that. And not even the literal kind of dampener.

I have spent a good deal of my working day so far on my knees, covered in dust, or (mostly) both. Occasionally also hitting bits of myself on shelves, for good measure.

I really shouldn’t be finding it this enjoyable.

norwegianpornfaerie asked: Heee, I have a lot of Rimmer-types in my life that I love (funny how that tends to happen) and am used to dealing and communicating with them. :) Anyway, yes, definitely! I'd say Lister is exceptionally good at reading people, which is why it's all the more frustrating to him that it's so hard for him to read Rimmer. I think he keeps trying partly out of the challenge. :p

Heh, that’s because you’re the only types foolish enough to think we’re worth loving. ;)

(massive amounts of “kidding!” and emphasis that I am talking entirely out of my ass there :D I just enjoy claiming Rimmerishness as an excuse to behave like a git when it would be funny. ;) )

Taken on board! I like that take on it. :)

I think I’ve got a better handle on it than many fic writers, but I’m becoming painfully aware that I’m really not quite sure how D/s dynamics work in practice.

From a fic standpoint, that doesn’t matter so much (since I write what I like and if what I like’s not “classic” D/s, who cares). But it would kind of be useful to understand, as someone who’d like to try actually doing it.

"Reality, it struck Rimmer, was a place where bad things could happen. And bad, vile, unspeakable things had happened to him on an almost daily basis the entire period he'd spent there."

Oh, yes. Some of that my way, please.

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