Anonymous said: What kinds of creative ways? The mind boggles.

Well, once I’d had a few litres tipped over me and my clothes were getting pretty covered on the outside, naturally it became a source of amusement to start pouring it down inside them. Like, down the back of my neck. Or down my trousers. Or filling my pockets (bonus points for then slapping a breast pocket and squirting it up into my face). Or taking down my trousers and filling my boxers. Then pouring a generous quantity into the seat of my trousers, and… pulling them back up again.

Is your mind sufficiently de-boggled now? -_-

Anonymous said: Nine?! That's a lot of litres! How did that feel? Surely after the first few litres it must have gotten tedious right? You couldn't have kept feeling humiliated and disgusting for all that?

It was… reasonably unpleasant. >_>

Well, you see, there are a lot of creative ways that a cruel person can go about plastering someone with slime. Especially if the someone in question is fully clothed. And nine litres gives ample opportunity to work through most of them. -_-

Anonymous said: Thanks Auto, that's much better. Tell me about the worst time you ever lost your dignity. I assume it wasn't the co-worker and the mudbath?

I presume this is the incident you’re referring to, and the misleading phrasing was deliberately intended to put uncomfortable images in my head. >_>

I suppose you can’t get much more undignified than getting plastered with nine litres of yellow slime. Which… has happened to me twice now. -_-

Did I mention I have a conference call this afternoon? >.<

Anonymous said: //Slaps Auto much harder// That simply won't do. You're far too full of yourself Auto. Hardly the attitude I expect of a "naughty little boy”, especially not one who got turned on by an apple of all things. What have you to save for yourself?

*yelps* Oh… someone’s been paying very close attention to this blog. -_-

All right, fine, if you put it like that… I’ve failed to keep my arousal under control, in a lot of awkward situations… I’ve failed to keep hold of my dignity, on repeated unfortunate occasions… and, I suppose, I’ve failed to keep incriminating facts secret from people who will use them against me. >_>

Anonymous said: But you still got distracted at work didn't you? You still failed to do your job properly because you were too busy talking to anon. What else have you failed at? Talk, or I'll have to punish you.

Ooh, I’m scared. Well, I messed up the sight-reading component of my Grade 5 piano exam when I was 16. Will that do?

Anonymous said: //Slaps Auto// Come on, don't be silly. We all know you've failed at lots of things. Like when Chewtoy!anon was around and you failed to pay attention at work. So much so that you lost focus during an important conference call. Remember that?

Ow! Yes, I remember that. -_- It wasn’t that important a conference call…!

Anonymous said: Oh that was at you Auto. I'm sure you did fail something, something very important to you. Tell me about it.

I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. If there’s a particular incident you’re trying to goad me into talking about, you’ll have to be more specific…

Anonymous said: Tell me about the most important thing you ever failed at.

Was that directed at me or Rimsy? Because I think you should know, dear anon, that I’m not the type to fail at things. ;)

Anonymous said: Oh did you get my reference there? I was worried I was being too subtle. =p

Are you trying to imply I should have “got” that sooner than I did? ^_-

Anonymous said: Well, I'm going to go and wash the filth of your existence out of my mind. I have only one thing left to say: Stop going over your humiliations at work. I know it turns you on, but if it causes leaks then you will end up in trouble. ... I hope I've made my point clear.

C-crystal, Inspector… *salutes weakly*

*looks down at self, looks round at the mess to be cleared up, and groans*

"Reality, it struck Rimmer, was a place where bad things could happen. And bad, vile, unspeakable things had happened to him on an almost daily basis the entire period he'd spent there."

Oh, yes. Some of that my way, please.

view archive

What's with the URL?

About this blog

FAQ, ish

Tag list

Ask me anything