I’ve just agreed to some… special arrangements for a playdate on Sunday. I voluntarily supplied an awful lot of ammunition (figurative), and promised to provide even more (literal) on the day. And there’s going to be an audience.

I’m now beginning to suspect I’ll regret this…

I recently admitted to one of my lovely new kink-scene friends that this blog exists, and that they are welcome to follow it if they want, but “it’s a bit weird”. They replied “But we’re both kinky and [redacted] and [redacted] - how weird is a bit weird, exactly?!”

Well, now they’ll know.

spandexual:

fannybaws replied to your photo:fannybaws replied to your photo: there is…

Hahaha interspecies foodplay, steamies. Spandexual, you are the pervy jewel in my internet crown.

Really!! Though imagining it [diesel oil] as food does make all the times the other engines get covered in coal a lot funnier in a slapstick kind of way.

I’m so pleased you said that.

boiler sludge, however… that’s just plain ol’ scat.
ANYWAY LOOK AT THOMAS’ FACE
HE IS COVERED IN… CLOTHES? I don’t know what paint would count as for an engine. Clothing or make-up?

COVERED IN CLOTHES <3 YOU ARE SO RIGHT, THIS SCENE MAKES SO LITTLE SENSE, and yet you have not ruined my pervy appreciation of this photo in any way.

fannybawws said: Let’s say makeup so we can get a crossdressing kink in there.

I love the way you people think.

spandexual:

fannybaws replied to your photo:fannybaws replied to your photo: there is…

Hahaha interspecies foodplay, steamies. Spandexual, you are the pervy jewel in my internet crown.

Really!! Though imagining it [diesel oil] as food does make all the times the other engines get covered in coal a lot funnier in a slapstick kind of way.

I’m so pleased you said that.

boiler sludge, however… that’s just plain ol’ scat.

ANYWAY LOOK AT THOMAS’ FACE

HE IS COVERED IN… CLOTHES? I don’t know what paint would count as for an engine. Clothing or make-up?

COVERED IN CLOTHES <3 YOU ARE SO RIGHT, THIS SCENE MAKES SO LITTLE SENSE, and yet you have not ruined my pervy appreciation of this photo in any way.

fannybawws said: Let’s say makeup so we can get a crossdressing kink in there.

I love the way you people think.

spandexual:

there is something sexually taboo about this picture

You&#8217;re telling me.

spandexual:

there is something sexually taboo about this picture

You’re telling me.

spandexual:

"Once an engine attached to a train was afraid of a few drops of rain…"

In this episode, Henry is a vain douche and won’t come out of the tunnel he’s taken shelter in, so Sir Topham Hatt bricks him up and says he’ll leave him there for “always and always and always”

and then hilarious hijinks ensure in which all parties learn a great lesson about teamwork and trust - oh wait, no, he just loses the ability to answer the only people who talk to him and stays bricked in the tunnel, cold and alone, the end

And then Ringo Starr says “But I think he deserved his punishment, don’t you?”

[bolding mine]

Yes, that’s it! That’s it exactly! He didn’t bloody deserve it at all, it was a ridiculous overreaction (and an unbelievable amount of hassle to go to). And yet we’re all encouraged to agree that minor acts of stroppiness should and must result in extraordinarily heavy-handed punishments…

The later series (the ones without Ringo Starr, which are de facto not worth watching) get a lot gentler and more logical in their morals-of-the-story. But I was brought up on the terrifyingly vindictive originals, and I love them.

Anonymous said: Rimmer spent a long time unable to touch anything but himself... except for when Holly had control over his hologram (as Queeg, or when Holly gave him Petersen's arm). I would be interested in your thoughts on Holly as Rimmer's Dom/me.

Have you been looking in my plot-bunnies folder, Anon? ;)

(I am also contractually obliged in my role as egotistical git to mention that I’ve done this in a fic, sort of.)

I like this idea a lot. I can only see it coming out as terribly bad-practice and non-con (see aforementioned fic, plus several excellent others that you’ll find in the Holly/Rimmer tag on AO3), but it’s got such potential.

Rimmer’s a very interesting character when it comes to power dynamics, because he’s so obsessed with outranking and ordering and controlling, without hardly ever seeming to realise that actually, as a hologram, he has incredibly little control over anything that happens to him. Hence the repeated instances of him being rude to Holly because he has “power over” em, and then Holly manipulating his projection in retaliation, and him then having to eat his words and crawl, because whatever power he has means nothing in practice.

(I may possibly have just described how I brat.)

I have no idea what it’d take to make him actually realise how powerless he is, much less accept it, but I’d love to see that kind of dynamic. It’d be fascinating just on a practical level too: no kind of restraints required, just, if ey doesn’t want him to move, he will not be able to move. Not a muscle. Except if ey wants him to cause himself pain, of course. “Stop hitting yourself” taken to the next level. ;)

Anonymous said: Talk to me about Thomas the Tank Engine

Best sext.

All right, Anon Who Pays Very Close Attention To My Tags, your wish is my command! Herewith, my Grand Unified Theory of how obsessively watching Thomas the Tank Engine as a child was responsible for all of my major kinks[*].

[*That or I obsessively watched it because it played into so many of my underlying kinks, but who’s counting.]

For a start, there’s an awful lot of smashing into tankers/crashing through barriers/being pushed under hoppers/etc that results in the engines getting covered in mess. Here’s a random gif that I stole uncredited off Reddit to prove my point, and it’s not even from an episode I’ve ever seen:

image

But it’s not just that, it’s the way it’s done. The show is absolutely chock-full of hubris, humiliation, and heartless hurtfulness. An engine is nasty to another engine; he gets his comeuppance, frequently involving some messy substance or similar assault on his respectable appearance; all the other engines point and laugh; he sits there looking like he wishes the ground would swallow him up. (Assuming that that wasn’t already the mechanism of his comeuppance.) And that’s the moral! Don’t be mean, kids, or you’ll lose your dignity in some humiliatingly ironic way, and it will be the worst thing ever!

The bit of the narration that sticks most strongly in my mind from all the episodes I watched as a child comes from the very first episode: Thomas is cheeky to Gordon, and Gordon gets his own back on him by secretly coupling him to his back end and pulling him round at unbearable speeds all day (because, y’know, tit-for-tat is the name of the game on Sodor). The whole final minute of the five-minute episode covers in gleeful detail Thomas’s “roll of shame” (if you will) back to the engine shed, “feeling very silly and exhausted”.

"He went onto the turntable," Ringo intones, "thinking of everyone laughing at him." What happened to him wasn’t even that awful or embarrassing (or messy), but he’s still horrified by the slightest bit of ridicule, and chews it over obsessively! Excellent role model for my tiny warped mind, there.

Since this is a Grand Unified Theory, I’ll also throw in that not having any arms or legs, and being constrained to travelling on rails, is not unlike being stuck in bondage and unable to avoid anything that’s thrown at you (or, as is more usual in the engines’ cases, anything you’re thrown at). But the deep psychological scarring is the main bit. :)

I have also decided that Tumblr desperately needs more gifsets of the dozens upon dozens of occasions when various engines get covered in various types of mess, so expect one of those when I next have too much time on my hands.

urulokid:

That… Is not what I expected

I&#8230; um.

urulokid:

That… Is not what I expected

I… um.

(via marijuanagin)

Anonymous said: Is there anything that people* assume you would be into, but which utterly fails to turn you on? (* who know about your kinks).

Very pertinent question! You know, there’s a kinkster I’m seeing at the moment who cocks that up all the time. If only there were a chance of them stumbling upon this ask/answer…

Kidding. :P Obviously I’d tell them if they were cocking things up. That’s Good BDSM Practice 101, children. In fact, it’s Good Partner Intimacy Practice Generally 101, or at least it should be. It’s a tricky one, actually, because in my head it’s obvious what - say - “messy humiliation” means, and it doesn’t occur to me that other people might be interpreting it in different ways. So I don’t know what they’re assuming until I rub up against it, awkwardly. ;)

I guess one possible assumption is that it’s a dirt/taboo sort of thing - e.g. that maybe the logical pinnacle of wet-and-messy would be watersports-and-scat. (I haven’t helped matters by writing two watersports fics.) But I don’t actually have much of a squick/taboo reaction to human waste, so it doesn’t have the kind of ultra-humiliating power that people might expect, so there’d be no point doing it because it’s just extra risk for no extra effect. There’s no particular correlation for me between how “dirty” something is and how humiliating it is; it’s primarily a factor of how much of a mess it makes me look (so, e.g., getting covered in garbage probably wouldn’t be as much of a turn-on as getting covered in shaving cream).

Other than that, there are a couple of kinks that seem to come as a pair with wet-and-messy for a lot of people, one of them being the complete and utter destruction of very fancy clothes (possibly as a subset of kinking out on extravagance/waste just generally). I can’t get behind that at all. I can understand the appeal, but that kind of pointless waste distresses me too much for the naughtiness/taboo-ness to turn me on. Actually, do I even get turned on by naughtiness/taboo-ness in any context? Quite possibly not (I’m far too highly evolved for that, don’tcha know), so if that’s another thing anyone was assuming I’d be into, we can add it to this really rather unexpectedly lengthy list.

It took me a minute to work out why this book was in the Physics department. &gt;.&lt;

It took me a minute to work out why this book was in the Physics department. >.<

"Reality, it struck Rimmer, was a place where bad things could happen. And bad, vile, unspeakable things had happened to him on an almost daily basis the entire period he'd spent there."

Oh, yes. Some of that my way, please.

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