The thing about having actually done some gunge play at last is that now, every time I cook something involving beaten egg, I know exactly what it would look like if someone poured it all over me. o.O

Just leaked through to my trousers again. And what was I doing while that was going on, you ask? Checking my askbox? Reading a smutfic? Chewing over a threat from my play partner? Nope… I was playing a game of Discworld: Ankh-Morpork.

I really do not understand my body sometimes.

Anonymous said: Lister: "Hang on, 37D? Oh yeah, I remember, the section next to that massive leaky bodge job you had the skutters do the other day? Nah dude, I did that bit." Inspector: "Clap him in irons Holly." *Rimmer is manacled at wrists ankles and neck*

Wait, what?

Hey! No - no, you can’t do this! Why the smeg are you taking that smegging smegger’s word for it? What proof do you have that he’s not just lying through his smegging teeth? This is ludicrous!

All right, Holly, this has gone far enough - I order you to drop this ridiculous “inspector” charade and let me go! And don’t even try to convince me that there’s a Space Corps Directive mandating the use of smegging manacles for minor indiscretions…

So I’m sat with a kink-savvy friend looking through one of those crappy listicles, which claims to be about celebrities with weird fetishes, and we’re both snarking that either the fetishes aren’t that weird, or it’s not actually a “fetish”, just an obsession.

Then we get to the last one in the list:



"Chaplin was something of a womaniser. And by ‘womaniser,’ we mean that he was a ‘massive pervert who liked to get girls naked and throw pies at them,’ because the 1920s was really weird."

Well, I can’t say I’m totally shocked… but I… um, hadn’t really seen that coming.

"Why, you ask? No idea. Even for a fetish, it’s pretty darn odd. And what a waste of custard. And pies!"

Oh, fucking thanks, crappy listicle.

Anonymous said: Lister: "Alright alright keep ya kecks on, remember what happened when you didn't. What smeggin' records?"

*splutters and goes slightly purple*

You mentioned it again! Just when I expressly forbade you to! I can’t believe your absolute, total, wilful lack of… *notices the Inspector eyeing him and trails off*

…of… Look, never mind that now, we have a serious situation on our hands! Primary lubricant feed. Sector 37D. Your designated repair job. You didn’t do it at all, did you? Just handed it over to the skutters, or, or bodged it with smegging chewing gum or something, and then lied in the maintenance record. Come on, admit it, because that leak needs to be fixed, miladdo, and pronto. Preferably by the insubordinate nincompoop responsible for causing it.

Although I have genuinely not been nominated, the Ice Bucket Challenge is beginning (after weeks where I saw bugger-all about it) to creep perilously closer, through the outer fringes of my social network.

If and when I eventually end up having to do it, a) everyone will be sick of it by then, b) the pressure to do something Original and Quirky with the video will be enormous, and c) it’ll probably be frigging October and cold as balls.

Plus, I’ve started seeing criticisms go round that it’s a waste of clean water, which may or may not be logically valid, but ~10L per person for god knows how many more people each day does make you sit up and take notice. And I’m already reluctant to indulge in messy play because I feel very conflicted about wasting food in such quantities; I’d thought water-based play was a way round that, damn it.



I have problems with reacting on time and I learned to cope with this by agreeing to everything. Someone asks if they can open a window, I automatically say “yes” because analyzing the situation in my mind takes a long time (they can but - I’m cold - I’d prefer if they didn’t - figuring out how to say it). People get impatient and repeat the question before I have the answer or assume I’m rude. Any ideas how to deal with being slow?

realsocialskills said:
That’s a tough problem. I don’t think there’s a simple or universal solution.
One thing I’ve found helpful is telling people I’m close to that I have this kind of problem, and asking them to ask questions differently. For instance “I’d like to open the window. Would that be ok, or do you want it to stay closed?” is easier for me to give a real answer to than “Can I open the window?”
Another thing is that sometimes I can buy time by repeating part of the question. This can also prompt them to clarify. For instance:
  • Them: Can I open a window?
  • Me: You want to open a window?
  • Them: Yes, I’m hot.
  • Me: I’m cold. Could you take off your jacket instead?

That way it breaks down into smaller steps, like this:

  1. I hear their question
  2. I process what the question is and verify that I’m right
  3. I figure out what I think and maybe say so

It can also sometime work even if I can’t say very many words right then. For instance:

  • Them: Can I open a window?
  • Me: A window?
  • Them: I’m hot.
  • Me: Too cold.
  • Them: You’ll be too cold?
  • Me: Other room?
  • Them: Ok, I can try working in the other room with one of those windows open.

This doesn’t always work, but it does sometimes.

What works for y’all in this situation?

[content note: kink; also, this is a personal musing, using the original post as a jumping-off-point, and not really expected to be of value for many people following the reblog discussions.]

I’m very glad I happened upon this post, and realised that actually yes this is a thing, and it’s one I struggle with, before I got too into casual play within the kink community. In principle, I am 300% in favour of the idea of full and open communication, constant feedback, safewording, etc. The scene I’m involved with is very good at all of these. In most situations, I am very good at frank verbal communication (sometimes, if I have Feels, I just can’t be shut up).

However, in practice I’ve found that sometimes kink play verbally “stumps” me. Occasionally I have trouble finding the right words to appropriately communicate things within a roleplay-ish dynamic (either if I have something that I want/need to flag up/suggest, or if I’m “interrogated” with a question I struggle to interpret). More unexpectedly, I’ve found extreme levels of sensation can require so much processing power that I’m slow to work out how I even feel about them, let alone work out how to verbally feed back about them.

This is just something I need to practise (I also need to practise safewording, which is important for anyone engaging in kink, neurotypical or no, because safewording within a charged scene is a very different beast from calmly agreeing a safeword beforehand). I don’t anticipate it being difficult to learn. But it’s good to be aware of, especially since a good/common approach for the first time any two people play is for the top to test limits by constantly inviting feedback. E.g. “I’m going to hit you with this five more times, is that OK?” or “I’m going to keep gradually hitting you harder until you say [safeword]”.

And… now that I’m more consciously aware that the “auto-yes” is a thing… it’s something that I can actually flag up when negotiating. Because, obviously, it has potential to cause some reasonably serious problems.

(Other people have given good suggestions in the thread, like using verbal filler to “delay” giving your yes/no until you’ve processed the question/checked that you interpreted it properly, or establishing a dynamic wherein it’s OK for you to say “sorry, I said yes but I meant [x], can we do that instead?” a bit later on. But in situations where consent has been established to continue until you manage to give a non-consenting response, this wouldn’t work quite so well!)

Anonymous said: Lister: "Ah smeg off goalpost head. You don't frighten me, not after what happened with that hologram. And even if you did, I don't know anything about falsifying records." *slumps into a chair* Inspector: "I'm appalled by this rank insubordination, Mr Rimmer, it seems stronger measures will be needed to restore discipline."

*goes very pale and quiet*

D-d-don’t you ever mention that incident again! I… I… I absolutely forbid it! I swear to God, Lister, if you don’t start showing some respect, I… I’ll hide your cigarettes again! I’ve got a real body this time, remember, I won’t have to rely on those smegging skutters! We all know you faked those records, you bastard, so spit it out, or you’ll be sorry, you mark my words!

Anonymous said: Lister: "What the smeg is goin' on, it's 11am, why'd ya wake me up?" Inspector: "Mr Rimmer, would you do the honours?"

Ah, Lister, so kind of you to grace us with your presence… at last. Now… *clears throat* I’ve been informed that we have something of a problem with the diesel deck primary lubricant feed. Something of a major problem, in fact, in the area which you were scheduled to repair last week. Which gives us cause to believe that there has been a bit of record-falsifying going on. Does that mean anything to you, squire?

Now, I’m a reasonable man, Lister, and the sooner you admit to the truth, the more inclined I’ll be towards leniency. But I hope you realise that this is a very grave offence, and punishable at the very minimum by undertaking the repair of the… ahem… substantial leak that’s developed. And as a potential officer, I’m afraid it is my firm duty to enforce said punishment. Notwithstanding how… unpleasant it may be.

Anonymous said: Holly, could you summon Mr Lister? Let us get to the bottom of this. It is vital we find out if there have been any other falsified documents. A ship run on falsified documents cannot be a well ordered ship. Though, regrettably, we may have to take a rather hard line to ensure his cooperation. Do you have any suggestions about how we might secure this?

Oh, this is going to be fun.

How to secure Lister’s cooperation? Hmm, just threaten to take his curry away. That usually works.

"Reality, it struck Rimmer, was a place where bad things could happen. And bad, vile, unspeakable things had happened to him on an almost daily basis the entire period he'd spent there."

Oh, yes. Some of that my way, please.

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