[content note: kink; also, this is a personal musing, using the original post as a jumping-off-point, and not really expected to be of value for many people following the reblog discussions.]
I’m very glad I happened upon this post, and realised that actually yes this is a thing, and it’s one I struggle with, before I got too into casual play within the kink community. In principle, I am 300% in favour of the idea of full and open communication, constant feedback, safewording, etc. The scene I’m involved with is very good at all of these. In most situations, I am very good at frank verbal communication (sometimes, if I have Feels, I just can’t be shut up).
However, in practice I’ve found that sometimes kink play verbally “stumps” me. Occasionally I have trouble finding the right words to appropriately communicate things within a roleplay-ish dynamic (either if I have something that I want/need to flag up/suggest, or if I’m “interrogated” with a question I struggle to interpret). More unexpectedly, I’ve found extreme levels of sensation can require so much processing power that I’m slow to work out how I even feel about them, let alone work out how to verbally feed back about them.
This is just something I need to practise (I also need to practise safewording, which is important for anyone engaging in kink, neurotypical or no, because safewording within a charged scene is a very different beast from calmly agreeing a safeword beforehand). I don’t anticipate it being difficult to learn. But it’s good to be aware of, especially since a good/common approach for the first time any two people play is for the top to test limits by constantly inviting feedback. E.g. “I’m going to hit you with this five more times, is that OK?” or “I’m going to keep gradually hitting you harder until you say [safeword]”.
And… now that I’m more consciously aware that the “auto-yes” is a thing… it’s something that I can actually flag up when negotiating. Because, obviously, it has potential to cause some reasonably serious problems.
(Other people have given good suggestions in the thread, like using verbal filler to “delay” giving your yes/no until you’ve processed the question/checked that you interpreted it properly, or establishing a dynamic wherein it’s OK for you to say “sorry, I said yes but I meant [x], can we do that instead?” a bit later on. But in situations where consent has been established to continue until you manage to give a non-consenting response, this wouldn’t work quite so well!)